Fading to Nightmares
by VHsgin
Summary: Asami's relationship with Korra becomes more intimate as time passes. Taking place before and just after Jinora's Ceremony, Asami falls in love with Korra, but only realizes it when she begins to lose herself from Post-Red Lotus nightmares. (Korrasami)
1. Chapter 1

"Hey you ever wonder if maybe seeing Jinora with all her new tattoos and stuff could, like, trigger some memory in Korra's – Korra's, like, Avatar brain and you know, like, maybe Aang would see and you know-" Bolin rambled on clutching the squeaking Pabu like an old army buddy, tipsy from the celebratory dinner they could still hear going on back in the dining hall. Mako was too busy trying to keep him up and onto the boat, and Asami couldn't help shifting awkwardly and looking back like some sort of twitch, so alas Bolin's theory was wasted as he tumbled into the boat landing face down on Pabu, where he promptly passed out.

"Need a hand?" Mako said and snapped Asami's attention to his outstretched hand, "Um, look, I think I'll just spend one more night, after all that… you know, I'm just kinda tired" she threw him her car keys and started back "Hey, wait Asami. You can't keep staying over here all the time, its already been two weeks and she seems… well, at least better than she was before. It'll take some time and… you need to take care of yourself too" Mako seemed genuinely concerned, but he never saw Korra cry like she did today. It'd be something different if it was one of those desperate, heavy sobs, people usually had for a 'good cry'. _But her expression barely changed… the tears were so gentle… it was like watching someone you love and realizing they're fading away_, Asami thought to herself as she brushed off Mako's concerns and made her way through the opposite entrance where the laughter and conversation died out to a muffled hum.

She paused for a moment and toke off her shoes to avoid the raised floor boards. Over the past few weeks she had slept over enough to know the right way to soundlessly sneak into Korra's room, checking to hear sobs or whispers in her sleep.

In the beginning it was difficult to tell where this new found compassion came from, of course Korra was a friend. But it hurt to see such a pretty face, a face you've seen live through so much pain without being fazed, suddenly weaken, suddenly so vulnerable. Everything she had learned and liked about Korra and her tomboy-ish ways, seemed to… fade. That was the only word for it.

The first night she checked in on her and heard the cries for help she had rushed in and woke her up. Even when she woke up it was like the dream was just an extension of her living nightmares. She only pulled Asami close enough to bury her sobs in the other girl's chest. Asami held her in her arms for hours until she calmed down, but whenever that happened Korra would suddenly change from desperate contact to none at all, thanking Asami with some remembrance of shame and asking her politely, but gratefully to go back to her bed.

The better method was to gently sit up on the bed leaning back on the headboard next to her and stroke her hair, lightly at first, so as not the wake her. Sometimes the nightmares would continue until she woke herself up and Asami would just have to hold her like before, sharing or at least empathizing with her pain enough to cry herself on a few occasions.

But other times, in the dim moonlit room as Asami stroked her fingers through her hair, Korra's cries would become fainter and fainter. She would nuzzle face to the side of Asami's leg just under her sleeping shorts and throw her arm over her lap. Even if Asami could escape her ironclad grip, she was still lost in her thoughts and the gentle petting that seemed to calm the both of them.

Once, when Asami had forgotten to slip out just before sunrise, she awoke to find Korra fidgeting to sit up in bed next to her, trying not to wake her. Instinctively trying to help she reached down to pull her up by the waist when Korra yelped and knocked the back of her head on Asami's lip.

"Oh dam sorry sorry sorry, I didn't know you were up, sorry, are you bleeding?" Korra whispered pulling herself up and meeting Asami's fingertips with her own at the other girl's bottom lip, leaning in with that dory look she always had when she got caught off guard, and managing another head bump with Asami at the same time. Seeing the blush rise on Korra's cheeks from the repeated mistake (or was it the close contact?) Asami restrained her laugh for a moment of silence and gently knocked their foreheads together again for a third time, letting a lock of hair fall forward and brush against the other girl's cheek.

For the first time in what seemed to be forever, Korra let out a genuine laugh pulling away and looking at Asami who was smiling back at her. Korra reached out and tucked the lock of hair on her face back behind her ear and cupped her cheek, feeling Asami's hand reaching up and covering her own, Korra's laugh died down and she slowly leaned forward. It was supposed to be for a fourth head bump but she was too slow, moving a bit awkwardly, with a faint smile still on her lips she leaned in just far enough to let Asami close the gap… if she wanted.

However before Asami could catch her breath – "Good morning Avatar Korra! What a lovely day" Korra managed to jump back so fast she inadvertently pushed Asami's face (connected to her body) off the side of her bed "Damit are you okay?" she leaned over to watch over the floor where Asami lay on her back, bright eyed and red. The monk they had assigned Korra for aid was one of the preppier kinds, someone apparently thought it would offset her up and coming depression "Lady Asami! You should know better than to rough house with the Avatar this early in the mourning! She hasn't even done her stretches yet!", Asami only ducked her head and slinked out the room, motioning to Korra a "Don't mention it, I'm ok".

_I should have stayed, dragged out the moment_ Asami now thought to herself as she creaked opened Korra's door. Until she heard the whisper, over the sounds of the party on the opposite side of the building, it was almost inaudible.

"Are you there?"

For a moment her heart skipped a beat, but before she could push on.

"Rava?"

_Wait, she isn't asleep. This isn't her usual sleep talking, she's awake. _

"Can we talk? I mean, I know you aren't usually 'around' around but… I figure if I don't have Aang or… or anyone… maybe we could talk? Like you used to do with Wan?… I know I'm not in trouble or anything now but… ok scratch that, I'm not in any 'obvious' trouble… but I am in trouble" Korra's voice shook and the sound of her crying spiked for moment, only to be muffled by whatever she was crying into. "I-If you're hearing… and you don't know… I'm in trouble Rava… please?"

Asami leant in to catch the last word and the door creaked in the obvious way doors creak when they are pushed. There was a rustle, then silence… "Asami?"

It would take way more than Asami had to betray the vulnerability in Korra's voice right now, "Yeah" Asami whispered and stepped forward into the darkness, embarrassed for eavesdropping, embarrassed for Korra, how one sided the conversation actually was. "Are you okay Korra?" It was the first time in a while she actually heard herself say it.

Korra only whispered a near mute "No" and shifted over, making room for her.

Asami took off her gloves and jacket to slide under the covers and face her, from this close she could make out Korra's crystal blue eyes in the dim light; how her undone hair fell over her face, sticking to her tears. She drifted closer to smooth back her hair and dry her tears, on its way back her hand overlapped with Korra's and immediately grasped it, interlocking their fingers and inching closer.

"What's wrong? Is it your legs? With time we might-"

"It's not just that. Asami, the world really doesn't need me anymore, my entire existence… you don't understand… I'm supposed to bring balance to the world, but where ever I go there's just unhappiness and corruption, uprisings. The Earth Kingdom is falling apart at the seams, I don't even know if the riots stopped, the Water Tribes are still struggling, and the Air Nomads… they can't even take a moment to rebuild themselves, did Tenzin tell you he's leaving with them tomorrow? So soon… just to clean up my mess"

She couldn't even fake a smile in the darkness.

"Thank god no one let me in the Fire Nation yet. As soon as I almost get the spirits to harmonize with the humans again, the nations can't keep their balance. No wonder everyone thinks 'the reign of the avatar is over'. I couldn't even keep balance between non-benders and benders, how am I supposed to fix the four nations… I'm not like Aang, I trained my whole life for this, this is supposed to be who I am. But every time I try to fix something… I lose a part of myself in the process… Asami…"

Asami realized she had gotten lost somewhere in Korra's words and somehow started to cry, _"But you beat them every time, you fought and you brought back the Ari Nomads, and you protected them. You constantly give yourself over… and it hurts every time"_ She was thinking out loud, but even she realized the double meaning in that last sentence. "Aang never fought this many benders with these types of skills, bringing back the spirits… bringing back the balance… means you'll have to fight off chaos more and more," She squeezed Korra's hand, "But you won't have to do it alone"

Just finally talking about it Korra found months of angst and shame settle, and begin to fade, heal.

Seeing the other girl's dark pink lips Korra got the urge to kiss her, this time it was Asami who leaned in, but Korra was more than willing to return the sentiment. Asami closed her eyes and felt the return of Korra's soft lips against her own, the excitement spread from her neck to her chest, all the way to her fingertips. She licked her bottom lip and moved her tongue along the line between the other girl's lips, Korra tried to gasp but when she opened her mouth Asami slipped her tongue in to meet Korra's, sliding past it and pulling out to and give a second closed kiss, gently sucking on her bottom lip.

While Asami worked on her lips she let go of Korra's hand and slid it onto the other girl's neck, her fingers brushing past her ear to meet her hairline while her thumb traced her sharp jawline and slid up her cheek. In one swift motion Asami brought her hand behind the girl's head, racking her fingertips along her scalp, gasping into Korra's mouth and feeling the excitement work its way down her chest to right between her legs. Asami unconsciously started to push against Korra, she used her other hand to cup the girl's face and let the other grope its way down the her back, landing just above her ass, pulling them together. The thin cloth of her sleeping clothes let every curve of her body imprint itself into Asami's own, which was still covered in starched work clothes.

Just as Asami was preparing to move Korra onto her back she felt the hand resting on her chest, which the other girl had used only moments ago to pull her neck forward, now gently pushed her away. Asami pulled back, breathless, searching the wide blue eyes and gasping mouth of the girl she had just realized she fell for.

"What's wrong?" Asami said, sliding a thumb across her cheek and letting the hand on the small of her back relax, but not pull away.

"It's just I've never… I've barely ever even… kissed… so going further… I just… I'm not… " a deep blush rose to her cheeks as she broke eye contact and looked at her hand, rubbing the base of Asami's neck nervously. "I'm not even sure if I was French kissing right" Korra blurted out in a whisper.

Asami didn't even attempt to contain her laughter, "Oh my god you're such a virgin"

"Shut up! I told you that in confidence!" Korra said in a higher pitch than usual as she buried her face into Asami's chest. Just her perfume was enough to make her feel safe, like herself again. A smile spread across her lips when she heard Asami laugh and say

"What? Its ok, you're my virgin. Plus we can always take care of that later" as she held her close, like she did for so many nights in the past, only this time she was able to nuzzle into Korra's dark brown hair and fall asleep to the scent of her.

**Hey, a bit of an after-note, I was originally planning to write a full on 'adult' scene for them, but I've never done it before soooo, I decided to test the waters a bit first. Was it at the very least 'ok'? I have some trouble writing intimate scenes and connections so if there's any advice or just general comments, that would be great.**

**And if anyone out there's interested, I want to write the 'adult' scene for the next chapter (still thinking it out) which will would be coming up… sometime in the near future. **

**PS: Found the cover photo on my internet travels, most likely it comes from the tumblr 'sherbies', who did an amazing job by the way (I'd give the link but I'm not sure if that's allowed in this website) **


	2. Chapter 2

She felt the stirring, something pulling, or at least trying to pull, away from her so she held on tighter.

"You're awake, aren't you?"

"No, and neither are you, so come back to bed" She said pushing her face into Asami's firm stomach.

"Jin will be coming soon" Asami pulled the covers over their heads and slid down Korra's arms till they were face to face, "What exactly would you expect me to say?"

"Turn around"

"You know I can't really give him orders"

"Asami" She said in the pleading way she didn't expect her to resist, and by its track record, rightly so.

"You're the one who's going to spend the awkward morning with him" She said turning around, and apparently giving Korra the opportunity to be the bigger spoon. Asami lifted her head for a moment to bring her hair foreword under her head. Korra took it as an invitation, murmuring "I don't mind" into her neck.

"Stop it, that tickles" Asami said pulling foreword laughing, Korra pulled back just far enough that Asami could still feel her breath, but only for a moment until she could feel both her breath and her teeth, making her make a sound not unlike a puppy with nowhere to go, korra's strong arms keeping her in place.

"Ahem."

But still, they carried on.

"Are you laughing at me?"

Korra's laughter stopped for a moment, followed by an exaggerated whimper from under the blankets, this time exactly like a puppy. The laughter continued.

He tried opening and slamming the door again.

There was movement, but it only seemed to be one of them turning around, "Don't act like you didn't make some noises too!" The response to that was, of course, a series of very skillfully executed puppy whimpers.

He made a noise of his own too, a hacking sound coming from his throat, loud, obvious, and slightly painful.

No recognition dawned on the bed, which was now in a fluster of movement. "Hey that's unfair! You have on more clothes than me!" "Should have thought of that sooner".

It appeared to be some sort of tickle fight, he didn't think so though, he was too busy pondering his own existence. Finally, after some thought, he simple shouted "I AM HERE!" This seemed to get the job done, while simultaneously answering some other, unrelated questions he just thought of.

Both vague figures shot up from under the blanket, quickly becoming not vague. Although he didn't notice since he was facing the door, not walking towards it though, just facing it. It seemed somewhat invasive to not face the door, well, to be in the room at all, but he had a job to do.

The fact that there was now stark silence where before there were low whimpers, or that there had previously been no way of distinguishing the singular lump under the covers as two separate people, or the fact that while Asami now ran out of the room with the same clothes she wore last night, although it was reassuring she was wearing clothes at all, the hicky-like marks along her neck were not so reassuring, regardless none of these things set off any alarms in his head. Or rather, he didn't give them any alarms to set off. He was here to carry Avatar Korra through her morning stretches, take her to the bath, then back to her room to get dressed. He made sure to know just what everyone else knew.

Korra didn't know what he wanted to know though, so the morning routine passed with aching speeds between 'Oh God Please Kill Me Now' and 'If This Isn't Killing Me, I'm Probably Already Dead'. Jin however knew, among very few other things, how to fill the silence with comfortable denial, which apparently meant asking questions and then answering them in a cheerful, embarrassing, cycle.

"It's a lovely day today! Don't you think it's a lovely day? I think it's just absolutely lovely!"

"Are these stretches working? They seem to be working! Look at that you're stronger already!"

"Such a lovely day for a warm bath don't you think? Oh, just the right amount of wind and sunshine!"

And so he went, with Korra nodding eagerly behind his excuses. By the time he left, saying something about blue being absolutely lovely as he walked down the corridor, a thought caught Korra off guard, _is everyone going to react like that? _Followed by an inexplicable anger, then _to be fair, he might have acted the same way if it were Mako. _Leaving her confused and fumbling with the clothes he had picked out for her on her bed.

_Oh my god what will Mako think?_

_Bolin? Tenzin? Everyone!_

_Where the hell is Asami?!_

Asami was, at the time, watching Jin make pleasant comments to himself as he walked passed her, crouching from behind a tree directly across from Korra's building. She had of course taken the time to take a shower and a change of clothes, she wasn't stalking or anything, although it seemed as though she momentarily forgot this fact while thinking of how best to approach the building inconspicuously, as it were, she was glaringly conspicuous to both Mako and Bolin.

Nudging her back with the knuckle of his index finger Bolin whispered "Whatcha doin'?" and managed to make Asami go from all fidgeting to complete stillness.

"Just heading to Korra's, you guys too?" she smiled so naturally it seemed unnatural, but that's a very slight thing to pick up on, and neither of the boys did.

Mako made small talk enjoying their company and complaining about the Force, "Yeah, you won't believe who Beifong promoted over me, I mean after everything –"

And well, Asami didn't believe it, but more so because she didn't have any cognition to spare while acting unnaturally natural. So she let the brothers carry on the easy conversation, hoping Korra would follow her lead.

They walked into the room casually, Mako taking the chair, Bolin leaning against the wall, and both expecting Asami to take the extra space at the edge of Korra's bed, which she didn't, feeling self-conscious but trying to at least not look like it.

"Mako was just saying something about some guy taking his job –"

"Not taking my job, my promotion"

"Same thing. Man, you should just relax, everything's all quite now and you're all worked up, look at me, I make a few public appearances here and there, make enough cash to get by. That's how you do it"

"Another thing, you say that now, but what happens when the momentum of your Mover days dies down? You need to start preparing, I mean, we can't stay roommates forever"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Bolin said with faux-anger, "I'll have you know Opal basically owns a whole city, and plus, someone somewhere will eventually need a Lava Bender" he retorted, going back to his relaxed expression.

"Haha, you got him there. Have you been practicing any? You should show me some time, I'm way behind on training though, but think about it, Avatar Roku knew it, and he didn't even know Metal Bending… I think. Anyway, I want to try"

Their surprise of her excitement could only be overshadowed by their own excitement to finally have, at least a little part of her, back to normal. Mako leaned forward in his chair smiling at Korra wider than he had in weeks.

"Are you kidding me? You can totally do it, just cause Roku's gone –" he caught his slip up with a midsentence panic, " – well not gone, just not there, just… he's there just not there-there" He was already starting to curse himself with worry, Bolin opened his mouth then closed it, and Asami's own worry fought with her urge to bitch-slap the back of his head.

Korra just laughed to herself, "If I learned it once I can learn it again", nothing felt better than having Team Avatar back together and her feelings barely stirred.

Everyone smiled with excitement, and Asami with relief. Korra looked at her, not just glanced, for the first time since she came into the room again. _It's because of you, _she wanted to hold her hand, to hug her. Then the sudden thought struck her _why isn't she sitting next to me? _

Then a thought struck Asami _we've been looking at each other too long… and this way too… they're going to notice. _Her sudden anxiety showed in her face, and even more so in the way she awkwardly glanced around the room, not looking into anyone's eyes.

Korra felt hurt for a moment and looked like it, but didn't know why. She looked out the window not even attempting to keep up her smile.

Bolin did what Bolin does and broke the awkward air of the room, ignoring social protocols easily, but probably not all that impressively, considering he knew but few, and threw himself onto the bed, "Hey I wonder if the training ground is free now, I haven't gotten a place to practice since everything. So we could like, start from the beginning together" He smiled at her and to himself, working himself up again.

But Korra couldn't distract herself quite so easily. _Is she acting like this because… we…_

Korra, having taken all of the previous ten minutes to decide on her stance of the matter, decided to give Asami some time as well, and so this happened,

"Hey guys, can you step out for about ten minutes or so, give or take a little?"

Mako, who was now thinking of the even more awkward dynamics of learning to bend while in a wheel chair, especially with all your friends watching, thought he knew her worries. "Uh, should we just, you know, come back later or…"

"No, no. Ten minutes should be about enough" Korra responded with new determination to get this over with as soon as possible, wanting to hold Asami's hand whenever she wanted to.

"Uh ok, oh, we'll head out to the training ground and check if it's free. Meet us there?" Bolin said, unsure of what everyone else was thinking about.

"Sounds good" Korra turned back to Asami, who was learning how to slowly, and awkwardly, pace about a room.

When the door slid shut Korra did what Korra does and said exactly what she was thinking, with very little thought going into what she was thinking, "Do you want to tell them about us?"

Asami almost got whiplash looking at her. Surprised, and then confused, "_And what, exactly, are we?_" she thought, and said, simultaneously.

Korra looked down at her lap and blushed, glancing up for a moment to say "well, whatever you want us to be".

Asami fell into bed with her immediately, she was sweet and so disarming, but entirely unhelpful. Kissing her temple, then her cheek, made her blush even harder. She put her arm around Asami's shoulders to draw her closer, forcing her to lean against Korra's arm and put her head against her neck,

"You get so worked up just by kissing in daylight, do you think you can handle it if we went 'public' with our feelings. People will look at us… they'd judge us. We'll never be able to act the same again." Asami let all of her worries out, and frightened herself even more with each word.

"Asami, I was blushing because you were kissing me in front of huge, open, bay windows while the guys passed barely meters in front of us"

Asami flinched, getting red and attempting to pull away while Korra just laughed at her and held her tighter. "They didn't see" she turned and whispered directly into her ear, smiling and kissing her head.

Asami laughed off her embarrassment too. "Ok I get it." Turning to face Korra, but noticeably not in kissing distance, "I just… I'm nervous. I want to be here for you, I do. And you don't even know how happy I am that you're feeling better. I just… want to take things slow… can we just see where this goes?"

Korra nodded "So… you want to date first? Before we finalize it?" concentrating on Asami.

"Yes, exactly!" Asami gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Alright, that's simple enough. I get what you mean, I just thought it might have been easier to say we were 'together' instead of 'dating' but they'll understand"

Asami got up, frustrated with everything and pacing, this time rather quickly, around the room. "You're not listening Korra, they can't know about us"

"Why?"

"Because of everything I just said!"

"But they'd know about us eventually won't they?"

"Well yeah but…"

"So basically you're just planning it so that if we ever broke up no one knows and we could just go back to how things were before?" She said this not unkindly, but firmly.

Asami looked at her and then leaned against the wall, "I guess… but that's not what I want"

Korra almost tried to get off the bed, forgetting the weakness in her legs for a moment. Realizing it just made her resolve stronger, "Asami, I want to be with you and there's no going back from that. There's no safety net or anything like that, but… I won't hurt you, you know" she said softly, "and I don't think you'd hurt me"

Asami smiled back at her, _I won't, I would do anything for you. _

"ok" she whispered, nervous and scared, but willing.

If Korra hadn't looked so determined just then, the way she used to. Asami might have fallen victim to her own weaknesses, but she didn't.

Korra smiled and Asami went to her, wanting to hold her. It seemed though, that Korra had different intentions, shifting to the side of the bed and indicating to Asami to help her into the wheelchair. The feeling of wanting to touch Asami but being prevented by her own weakness overpowered the urges she had when actually getting to touch her.

Wheeling herself out of the building with Asami trailing behind, slightly worried about how she planned on breaking the news, but more so excited to see Korra this motivated again.

**Hey, so it's been a while, I know. I woke up this morning and on my to-do list I saw LOK Chapter 2 and I guess the intersection of Free Time and Remembrance finally happened. I wanted to cut the tension and gloom from the last Chapter with some light hearted movements, and I kind of realized we've got some time to kill until the next season so… I really just wanted to develop the story a bit in this one, and hopefully I accomplished at least that.**

**They didn't get that much time together, and as a romance Fanfic that's worrisome, I really don't know how it happened like that, it just sort of flowed naturally. And well, I think I did too much fluff in the beginning to do anything too hardcore at the end. What did you guys think? **

**PS: Thanks for the comments, and Nightlight I'm sorry about the whole 'French' thing, haha, I can't believe I let that slip. **


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